From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggidy beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us.
Nice People Don’t Value Money?
You can't judge this world by what you hear and read in the news.
“Ear Worms” Jingling All the Way to the Bank…
We'd call that an "ear worm".
Spring Should be Named “Vern”
So, allow me to be the first to say to you, effective at 5:24pm EDT on Monday ,March 20th, "Happy vern!"
When the Hawk Hit the Window…
Note" Remember when Opie killed a momma bird with his slingshot and had to care for the little ones?
Not “Care-In” to Change my Name
We've lost our sense of humor.
So Much Hot Air; So Few Balloons…
We're not vegetarians but we eat animals that are.
Truth to “Old Wive’s Tales”…
The moment the food or utensil hits the floor, the bacteria are there, no matter how much you brush it off on blow on it.
“From “Scared Straight” to “Straight Scared”
Have you ever run out of toilet paper during a winter storm? So use something else.
“Spare” me Some Inflation…
That means a "tire repair" became a "tire replacement".
The “A-B-C’s” of Cruising…
Suffice it to say, lots or people don't care what they wear or who sees them in it at the pool.
No Business Like “Snow Business”…
Those fluffy flakes fall at speeds between 1 and 3 miles per hour.
Waiter, There’s More Than a Fly in My Soup
Snap! Crackle! Pop! EEK!
In the “Nick” of Time…
Former player and manager for Cleveland, Mike Hargrove was known for taking a few "moments" to get ready to bat and he was dubbed "The Human Rain Delay".
Bad Trades or Red Rover?
I feel this "people-swapping" method of deciding things ought to be scrapped.
Still Crazy after All These Years?
The original "fact checkers" used to be the actual media.
Same Word, Different Meanings…
Speaking of "buckle", as a kid, did you ever have a pair of those black, rubber boots with hose nifty "buckles" that would keep the gear on your feet?
The Tradition of Traditions…
I still like "potato-sicles" which is simply a bog scoop of leftover mashed potatoes dipped in the remaining gravy.
“In” Famous Last Words…
So, I did a mental "coin flip" and I ended my classroom reading with, "Your niece, Johnny".
“Leaf” Well Enough Alone…
As a kid in northern Ohio, we'd rake them into the ditch along Crestwood Drive and burn them.
Home Sweet Homes…
Eric the Red, upon his exile from Iceland, would up on the island and named it Greenland, hoping the pleasant name would attract settlers.
8 Legs and a Red Hourglass…
So, after we agreed it was a black widow spider, I sent it to spider heaven with a carefully directed blow from my 6 pound hammer.
Are Term Limits Needed?
I've never been one to call for term limits because we get to vote for House races every 2 years and Senate races every 6 years.
Standing Room only?
you grab the wash cloth, suds it up and wash off the "suspicious" places and then hang over the edge of the bathtub to wash your hair.
Standing on Hallowed Ground…
"Stand your ground. Don't fire unless fired upon. But if they mean to have a war, let it begin here".
It’s the Little Things That Count…
As he left, he said, "Oh, by the way, we have a bit of a tick problem right now".
Working on Our Pool Game…
One small step for a married man...a giant leap for husband confidence.
Swinging Through Life’s Memories…
It suddenly got hard to see as my eyes teared up with the memories.
The Pampered American Pooch…
That I could deal with because I could emphasize with not wanting to plop by tender region in the snow.
WHO’s in Charge?
How about "The Virus Formerly Knows as Monkeypox"?
Gas Pains Are Uncomfortable…
Gas prices always rise faster than they decline.
Here’s the Line on “The Line”…
The recently unveiled design shows a "futuristic" walled city that will be no wider than 200 yards.
The “Dog Days” Heat Is On…
When the heat is on, you might suffer from "heat rash", also known as "prickly heat" or "miliaria".
The Heir to Hair…
Knotted, polka-dotted, twisted, beaded, braided, powdered, flowered and confettied! Oh say can you see my eves, if you can then my hair's too short.
Avoiding the Crowds…
Someone has calculated that one person counting to one billion would take 131.8 years to accomplish the task.
Food For Thought…
You can count me out when it comes to ordering a side of placenta the next time my wife and I dine out.
Ever Been Annoyed?
Soggy hand towels by the dozens are piled like wannabe Jenga sticks, eventually falling over on the floot.
A Pox on Monkey Pox…
When I was a kid growing up, we got the "Asian Flu" and " German Measles".
The Threat of Fear…
Negativity spreads in the darkroom of isolation.
So Who Woke Karen?
"Woke" is a term defined as "aware of and actively attentive to fads and issues".
Not Quite an “Evel Knievel”…
Viktor's muzzled snout sounded like a jet engine at take-off as he snorted into my left ear during our match in an actual ring.
Keaters and the Class of ’22…
I have some special memories of you when you were growing up.
If Life was an NFL Game…
If this was a football game, somebody would be throwing a flag and we'd be going to the instant replay to determine who deserves a penalty.
First…or Right?
As a reporter, you always hoped for those exclusives, or "scoops" as we used to call them.
Uncle Chuck and Karey Deane…
The day actually turned into a beautiful May 1st Sunday with blue skies and warm sunshine.
Taxation or Taxidermy?
Prior to 1943, we Americans paid income taxes quarterly or annual.
Things to Consider…
For the chicken, it's involved but the pig is committed.
Nicknames in the Nick of Time…
America's loss of its' sense of humor in recent years and growing "PC-ness" has put a damper on the nickname business.
Of Booze, Beer and Burgers…
Most times, my sandwich comes to me, wrapped tighter than a swaddled baby in a piece of waxed paper.
An Axe to Grind With The Oscars…
These guys do get paid for acting, you know.