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Things Going “Bump!” in the Night…

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From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggidy beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us.

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Nice People Don’t Value Money?

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You can't judge this world by what you hear and read in the news.

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“Ear Worms” Jingling All the Way to the Bank…

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We'd call that an "ear worm".

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Spring Should be Named “Vern”

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So, allow me to be the first to say to you, effective at 5:24pm EDT on Monday ,March 20th, "Happy vern!"

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When the Hawk Hit the Window…

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Note" Remember when Opie killed a momma bird with his slingshot and had to care for the little ones?

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Not “Care-In” to Change my Name

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We've lost our sense of humor.

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So Much Hot Air; So Few Balloons…

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We're not vegetarians but we eat animals that are.

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Truth to “Old Wive’s Tales”…

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The moment the food or utensil hits the floor, the bacteria are there, no matter how much you brush it off on blow on it.

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“From “Scared Straight” to “Straight Scared”

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Have you ever run out of toilet paper during a winter storm? So use something else.

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“Spare” me Some Inflation…

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That means a "tire repair" became a "tire replacement".

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The “A-B-C’s” of Cruising…

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Suffice it to say, lots or people don't care what they wear or who sees them in it at the pool.

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No Business Like “Snow Business”…

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Those fluffy flakes fall at speeds between 1 and 3 miles per hour.

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Waiter, There’s More Than a Fly in My Soup

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Snap! Crackle! Pop! EEK!

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In the “Nick” of Time…

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Former player and manager for Cleveland, Mike Hargrove was known for taking a few "moments" to get ready to bat and he was dubbed "The Human Rain Delay".

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Bad Trades or Red Rover?

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I feel this "people-swapping" method of deciding things ought to be scrapped.

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Still Crazy after All These Years?

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The original "fact checkers" used to be the actual media.

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Same Word, Different Meanings…

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Speaking of "buckle", as a kid, did you ever have a pair of those black, rubber boots with hose nifty "buckles" that would keep the gear on your feet?

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The Tradition of Traditions…

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I still like "potato-sicles" which is simply a bog scoop of leftover mashed potatoes dipped in the remaining gravy.

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“In” Famous Last Words…

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So, I did a mental "coin flip" and I ended my classroom reading with, "Your niece, Johnny".

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“Leaf” Well Enough Alone…

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As a kid in northern Ohio, we'd rake them into the ditch along Crestwood Drive and burn them.

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Home Sweet Homes…

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Eric the Red, upon his exile from Iceland, would up on the island and named it Greenland, hoping the pleasant name would attract settlers.

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8 Legs and a Red Hourglass…

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So, after we agreed it was a black widow spider, I sent it to spider heaven with a carefully directed blow from my 6 pound hammer.

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Are Term Limits Needed?

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I've never been one to call for term limits because we get to vote for House races every 2 years and Senate races every 6 years.

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Standing Room only?

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you grab the wash cloth, suds it up and wash off the "suspicious" places and then hang over the edge of the bathtub to wash your hair.

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Standing on Hallowed Ground…

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"Stand your ground. Don't fire unless fired upon. But if they mean to have a war, let it begin here".

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It’s the Little Things That Count…

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As he left, he said, "Oh, by the way, we have a bit of a tick problem right now".

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Working on Our Pool Game…

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One small step for a married man...a giant leap for husband confidence.

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Swinging Through Life’s Memories…

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It suddenly got hard to see as my eyes teared up with the memories.

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The Pampered American Pooch…

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That I could deal with because I could emphasize with not wanting to plop by tender region in the snow.

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WHO’s in Charge?

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How about "The Virus Formerly Knows as Monkeypox"?

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Gas Pains Are Uncomfortable…

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Gas prices always rise faster than they decline.

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Here’s the Line on “The Line”…

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The recently unveiled design shows a "futuristic" walled city that will be no wider than 200 yards.

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The “Dog Days” Heat Is On…

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When the heat is on, you might suffer from "heat rash", also known as "prickly heat" or "miliaria".

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The Heir to Hair…

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Knotted, polka-dotted, twisted, beaded, braided, powdered, flowered and confettied! Oh say can you see my eves, if you can then my hair's too short.

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Avoiding the Crowds…

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Someone has calculated that one person counting to one billion would take 131.8 years to accomplish the task.

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Food For Thought…

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You can count me out when it comes to ordering a side of placenta the next time my wife and I dine out.

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Ever Been Annoyed?

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Soggy hand towels by the dozens are piled like wannabe Jenga sticks, eventually falling over on the floot.

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A Pox on Monkey Pox…

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When I was a kid growing up, we got the "Asian Flu" and " German Measles".

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The Threat of Fear…

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Negativity spreads in the darkroom of isolation.

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So Who Woke Karen?

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"Woke" is a term defined as "aware of and actively attentive to fads and issues".

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Not Quite an “Evel Knievel”…

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Viktor's muzzled snout sounded like a jet engine at take-off as he snorted into my left ear during our match in an actual ring.

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Keaters and the Class of ’22…

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I have some special memories of you when you were growing up.

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If Life was an NFL Game…

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If this was a football game, somebody would be throwing a flag and we'd be going to the instant replay to determine who deserves a penalty.

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First…or Right?

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As a reporter, you always hoped for those exclusives, or "scoops" as we used to call them.

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Uncle Chuck and Karey Deane…

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The day actually turned into a beautiful May 1st Sunday with blue skies and warm sunshine.

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Taxation or Taxidermy?

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Prior to 1943, we Americans paid income taxes quarterly or annual.

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Things to Consider…

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For the chicken, it's involved but the pig is committed.

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Nicknames in the Nick of Time…

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America's loss of its' sense of humor in recent years and growing "PC-ness" has put a damper on the nickname business.

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Of Booze, Beer and Burgers…

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Most times, my sandwich comes to me, wrapped tighter than a swaddled baby in a piece of waxed paper.

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An Axe to Grind With The Oscars…

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These guys do get paid for acting, you know.

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