From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggidy beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us.
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Nice People Don’t Value Money?
You can't judge this world by what you hear and read in the news.
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“Ear Worms” Jingling All the Way to the Bank…
We'd call that an "ear worm".
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Spring Should be Named “Vern”
So, allow me to be the first to say to you, effective at 5:24pm EDT on Monday ,March 20th, "Happy vern!"
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When the Hawk Hit the Window…
Note" Remember when Opie killed a momma bird with his slingshot and had to care for the little ones?
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Not “Care-In” to Change my Name
We've lost our sense of humor.
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So Much Hot Air; So Few Balloons…
We're not vegetarians but we eat animals that are.
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Truth to “Old Wive’s Tales”…
The moment the food or utensil hits the floor, the bacteria are there, no matter how much you brush it off on blow on it.
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“From “Scared Straight” to “Straight Scared”
Have you ever run out of toilet paper during a winter storm? So use something else.
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“Spare” me Some Inflation…
That means a "tire repair" became a "tire replacement".
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The “A-B-C’s” of Cruising…
Suffice it to say, lots or people don't care what they wear or who sees them in it at the pool.
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No Business Like “Snow Business”…
Those fluffy flakes fall at speeds between 1 and 3 miles per hour.
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Waiter, There’s More Than a Fly in My Soup
Snap! Crackle! Pop! EEK!
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In the “Nick” of Time…
Former player and manager for Cleveland, Mike Hargrove was known for taking a few "moments" to get ready to bat and he was dubbed "The Human Rain Delay".
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Bad Trades or Red Rover?
I feel this "people-swapping" method of deciding things ought to be scrapped.
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Still Crazy after All These Years?
The original "fact checkers" used to be the actual media.
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Same Word, Different Meanings…
Speaking of "buckle", as a kid, did you ever have a pair of those black, rubber boots with hose nifty "buckles" that would keep the gear on your feet?
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The Tradition of Traditions…
I still like "potato-sicles" which is simply a bog scoop of leftover mashed potatoes dipped in the remaining gravy.
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“In” Famous Last Words…
So, I did a mental "coin flip" and I ended my classroom reading with, "Your niece, Johnny".
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“Leaf” Well Enough Alone…
As a kid in northern Ohio, we'd rake them into the ditch along Crestwood Drive and burn them.
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Home Sweet Homes…
Eric the Red, upon his exile from Iceland, would up on the island and named it Greenland, hoping the pleasant name would attract settlers.
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8 Legs and a Red Hourglass…
So, after we agreed it was a black widow spider, I sent it to spider heaven with a carefully directed blow from my 6 pound hammer.
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Are Term Limits Needed?
I've never been one to call for term limits because we get to vote for House races every 2 years and Senate races every 6 years.
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Standing Room only?
you grab the wash cloth, suds it up and wash off the "suspicious" places and then hang over the edge of the bathtub to wash your hair.
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Standing on Hallowed Ground…
"Stand your ground. Don't fire unless fired upon. But if they mean to have a war, let it begin here".
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It’s the Little Things That Count…
As he left, he said, "Oh, by the way, we have a bit of a tick problem right now".
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Working on Our Pool Game…
One small step for a married man...a giant leap for husband confidence.
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Swinging Through Life’s Memories…
It suddenly got hard to see as my eyes teared up with the memories.
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The Pampered American Pooch…
That I could deal with because I could emphasize with not wanting to plop by tender region in the snow.
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WHO’s in Charge?
How about "The Virus Formerly Knows as Monkeypox"?
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Gas Pains Are Uncomfortable…
Gas prices always rise faster than they decline.
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Here’s the Line on “The Line”…
The recently unveiled design shows a "futuristic" walled city that will be no wider than 200 yards.
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The “Dog Days” Heat Is On…
When the heat is on, you might suffer from "heat rash", also known as "prickly heat" or "miliaria".
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The Heir to Hair…
Knotted, polka-dotted, twisted, beaded, braided, powdered, flowered and confettied! Oh say can you see my eves, if you can then my hair's too short.
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Avoiding the Crowds…
Someone has calculated that one person counting to one billion would take 131.8 years to accomplish the task.
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Food For Thought…
You can count me out when it comes to ordering a side of placenta the next time my wife and I dine out.
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Ever Been Annoyed?
Soggy hand towels by the dozens are piled like wannabe Jenga sticks, eventually falling over on the floot.
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A Pox on Monkey Pox…
When I was a kid growing up, we got the "Asian Flu" and " German Measles".
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The Threat of Fear…
Negativity spreads in the darkroom of isolation.
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So Who Woke Karen?
"Woke" is a term defined as "aware of and actively attentive to fads and issues".
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Not Quite an “Evel Knievel”…
Viktor's muzzled snout sounded like a jet engine at take-off as he snorted into my left ear during our match in an actual ring.
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Keaters and the Class of ’22…
I have some special memories of you when you were growing up.
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If Life was an NFL Game…
If this was a football game, somebody would be throwing a flag and we'd be going to the instant replay to determine who deserves a penalty.
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First…or Right?
As a reporter, you always hoped for those exclusives, or "scoops" as we used to call them.
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Uncle Chuck and Karey Deane…
The day actually turned into a beautiful May 1st Sunday with blue skies and warm sunshine.
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Taxation or Taxidermy?
Prior to 1943, we Americans paid income taxes quarterly or annual.
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Things to Consider…
For the chicken, it's involved but the pig is committed.
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Nicknames in the Nick of Time…
America's loss of its' sense of humor in recent years and growing "PC-ness" has put a damper on the nickname business.
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Of Booze, Beer and Burgers…
Most times, my sandwich comes to me, wrapped tighter than a swaddled baby in a piece of waxed paper.
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An Axe to Grind With The Oscars…
These guys do get paid for acting, you know.
Johnny on the Spot 