Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …

Taking time for “small talk”, “chatting”, “B-S-ing” or “chewing the fat” doesn’t really waste time.

It’s good for your mental well-being.

The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology conducted a study involving more than 1,800 individuals.

They made them rate 10 talk topics and then had them pick the 5 least interesting to them.

They were matched up with another person and told to engage in five minute coinversations om those topics.

Interestingly enough, most felt the boring topics resulted in interesting conversation.

The researchers concluded “small talk” is good for our mental health.

The study subjects reported an increased feeling of social belonging, reduced loneliness and reduced stress EVEN if they initially thought the topics would be boring.

Most of us aren’t comfortable with starting conversations with strangers. This “water cooler” talk can be difficult to get rolling.

Asking open-ended questions, something that demands more than a simple “Yes” or “No” helps.

It’s an old interviewing trick I learned years ago because some interviewees will give you a single word response if you give them the chance.

Phrases like, “Tell me” or “Explain to me” should elicit more than just one-word answers or grunts.

This topic reminded of a small conversation I had nearly 57 years ago.

I was flying home from USAF basic training after my Father had died suddenly.

I flew commercially from San Antonio, Texas to Dallas to make a connecting flight to Columbus, Ohio.

I’d been in the Air Force about 4 weeks so my dress-blue sleeves were bare of any ranking, and all I had on the front of my coat was the National Defense Ribbon and my name tag.

I was standing in front of a restroom urinal when a full-bird U.S. Marine colonel took the slot to me right.

I had a sense that he had quickly sized me up before he spoke to me.

“Trouble at home, Airman?”

“Sir! Yes Sir!”

“Be strong!”

“Sir! Yes Sir!”

He left and I was unable to see his name tag because there have been many days I wished I could have contacted him and told him how much his words prepared me for when I got home.

Our conversation was just 12 words but I don’t remember any more impactful than they were.

I often wonder if he would have recalled the moment when we briefly talked.

My guess is he probably offered similar words of wisdom at other times to other young men.

I fully expected to be asked for my orders or be told to “Drop! Give me twenty!”

Instead I got an intense emotional booster shot from this unknown gentleman.

In my work, I’ve conducted somewhere in the neighborhood of over 30,000 interviews, many of them no longer than 3-4 minutes.

But those “Reader’s Digest” mini-chats often cut to the chase quicker than the longer ones.

I do see the value of small talk.

It’s sad to note that more than 40% of today’s adults report feeling lonely.

Many are probably alone with no one to talk to.

That’s one of the benefits to programs like “Meals on Wheels” when volunteers deliver meals to shut-ins.

The food is most-definitely important but that verbal engagement with another human being is critical for both the food recipient and deliverer.

There are times you need to put down that phone.

Listen to someone else, face-to-face and talkin with them.

Remember “baby talk” when you would hold an infant. cuddling and cooing and you’d create a smile or at least s funny gurgle?

We need to communicate.

But it doesn’t have to me rehearsed or fine-tuned.

I often get greeted with “Good to see you” and I often respond with, “It’s good to be seen!”

Seems to disarm a person quickly and pout them at ease

But the door is opened for a quick chat.

Sometimes a lasting one.

Remember The Hollies and their 1966 hit, “Bus Stop”?

It cuts to the essence of this article.

“Bus stop, wet day, she’s there, I say

“Please share my umbrella.”

Bus stop, Bus goes, She stays. Love grows

under my umbrella.

All that summer, we enjoyed it

Wind and rain and shine.

That umbrella, we employed it

By August she was mine.”

All because of an unbrella?

No!

Remember, he said, “”Please share my umbrella.”

Just 4 little words, spoke to another person.

Pretty powerful.