Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …

The end of the old year and entering into a new one always makes us wonder where we’re going.

We’ve always wanted to know what’s coming.

Rather than question fortune-tellers, gypsies, economists, press secretaries or any number of government experts as to what the future holds, let’s look at some old standards, like woolly bear caterpillars, persimmons or foggy August mornings.

With woolly bears, legend has it the wider the rusty the brown colored area is, the milder the winter will be.

If there’s more black, prepare for a rough winter.

With persimmons, you cut them open and look at the seeds.

Your three choices are spoon, fork and knife.

If the seeds look like spoons, expect lots of heavy snow.

Persimmon seeds like forks foretell a mild winter with some light, powdery snows.

You discover persimmon seeds resembling knives, prepare for a cold, icy winter with harsh winds (possibly cutting like a knife?)

Regarding August, for every fog experienced in the month, there will be a snowfall next winter.

If the first week of August is unusually warm, the coming winter will be long and snowy.

But if a cold August follows a hot July, that foretells a winter hard and dry.

Scientists have looked into these gazes into the future and found mixed results.

At least a woolly bear caterpillar produce the Isabella moth, a rather showy insect with yellow, orange and cream wings, spotted with black.

Then there’s the old, “trusty” Magic 8 Ball.

It was invented in 1946 by 2 gentlemen and it was called “Syco-Slate” which eventually evolved into the plastic Magic 8 Ball marketed by Mattel.

The mother of one of the inventors was a clairvoyant and fortune teller.

Go figure.

It originally sold as a paperweight.

But the Magic 8 Ball can only respond to “Yes/No” questions and the answers are printed on a 20-sided white, plastic icosahedron die floating on alcohol dyed dark blue.

Frankly, a simple “Yes/No” answer is better than long-winded orations by reporters and politicians that resemble Hula-Hoops since they go round and round and round and wind up on the floor where they started.

But as a cub reporter, I was always told to avoid asking questions that could be answered by a simple “Yes” or “No”.

The Magic 8 Ball provides 1 of 20 responses.

10 of those possible answers are “affirmative”, 5 are “neutral” and the remaining 5 are negative.

These answers are credited to a psychology professor at the University of Cincinnati.

My guess is he offered more “positive” answers to help uplift the sprits of the downtrodden looking for life’s answers in a plastic ball filled with blue alcohol.

Those 10 “affirmative” responses are “It is certain”, It is decidedly so”, “Without a doubt”,
“Yes, definitely”, “You may rely on it”, “As I see it, yes”, “Yes, most likely”, “Signs point to yes”, “Outlook good” and “Yes”.

The 5 negative responses are “Don’t count on it”, “My reply is no”, “My sources say no”, Outlook not so good” and “Very doubtful”.

The 5 neutral replies are “”Reply hazy, try again”, “Ask again later”, “Better not tell you now”, “Cannot predict now” and “Concentrate and ask again”.

Now the earlier model Magic 8 Balls told you not to shake them before looking on the flat bottom for your answer. There were issues with white bubbles interfering with the floating answer dye. That was fixed by the “bubble free dye agitator” which was nothing more than an inverted funnel.

Then there was this paper device girls used to employ when I was in junior high.

It was a device you created with origami paper folds that involved colors and numbers and you’d use your thumbs and fingers from both hands to “operate” the contraption.

Some called them “Fortune Tellers” but I remember them as “Cootie Catchers”. They’ve also been known as “Chatterboxes”, “Salt Cellars”, “Whirly Birds”, “Snapdragons” or “Bug Catchers”.

You can even find out how to make one on-line.

Remember those?

Years ago, I had a card-reader as a guest on my radio morning show and she flipped some cards around and told me what my future held.

I don’t recall it being amazingly accurate but it was fun.

Soi what’s ahead for us in 2026?

My Magic 8 Ball says “Better not tell you now”.

It would take all the fun out of living it.