Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …

I recently read an article on the rudest workplace behavior.

I was perplexed.

This was after I heard a survey of people that stated the most annoying workplace behavior is sniffing.

Do you agree?

According to the Civility Center, most of us crave closure and clarity in the workplace.

That lead to this article to proclaim that “Hey!” is the rudest workplace behavior.

“Hey?”

The writers of this article claim saying “Hey!” feels too open-ended, especially with no follow-up or with a heavy pause.

They used the example of the boss walking by your work area, looking at you and saying “Hey!”

Almost immediately, we start to ask questions and wonder, “What’s up?”

In my mind, “Hey!” can be a brief greeting, or, followed with a pointed finger and a stern look could indicate “That was a bad move”.

“Hey!” could also mean, “Watch out!” or “Look out!” in a crowded or dangerous situation.

But to suggest that 3-letter word is the rudest workplace behavior today indicates to me we have a lot of wimpy workmates.

OK?

Might be my military experience coming into play.

If the worst thing my basic Training Instructor screamed at we USAF recruits was “Hey!”, I’d think we got off pretty easy.

Better than “Drop and give me twenty!”

Actually, what we say at work is surpassed in my estimation by the things we DON’T do.

That’s because, talk is cheap.

We have a cleaning crew that comes into our place a couple of times a week but heaven forbid if we run out of toilet paper in the bathroom.

It’s not like the extra rolls are hidden under lock and key!

Call me funny but I like to know that there’s sufficient paper supplies in the bathroom cubicle available before I “drop trou” and take a seat.

That’s not the time to commence a search for the needed paperwork to finish the mission.

To me it’s rude knowing that the person before me is the one who left the empty cardboard tubes for me.

There’s a basket on the top of the toilet tank for extra rolls of tissue and I’ll toss a roll or two in their if I notice supplies are low.

The other is paper towels.

Our dispenser is unlocked so when it runs out, all you have to do is grab a new roll in the aforementioned storage area and install it.

Takes maybe 30 seconds.

You don’t need a college education to complete the mission.

I’ve even showed fellow workers how to install a new roll of hand towels.

Still, I’ll find a package of paper towels on the edge of the sink because one of my fellow workers couldn’t complete the onerous task of reloading the paper towel dispenser.

Must fall into the “Well, it’s not MY job!” category.

Just like re-leading the copier when it runs out of paper.

Tough work.

Now, paper jams can be another matter.

Then there’s the restroom waste basket.

Throwing away used paper towels is not a “close enough” task.

Put it IN the waste basket.

Not on the floor, near it.

“Close” only counts in horseshoes and A-bombs.

Or when the waste basket becomes a paper Mt. Everest.

Those towels can be easily compressed by pushing them down in the container with that thing on the end of your leg.

It’s called a “foot”,

If an old guy like me can get his leg high enough to stomp down the used towels, then you can probably do it.

You can still compete the task with your hand and then simply wash up with warm-soapy water and dry with a paper towel from the dispenser you just reloaded and toss that towel INTO the container.

But heaven forbid, you observe someone violating these common etiquette practices because you sure can’t yell “Hey!” to get their attention.

That would really be rude by today’s standards.

So it’s better to shuffle around knee-deep in wet paper towels with stinky fingers?

I’d say, “No!” but I’m an old-timer.

Makes me recall that 1967 song by the South African folk-rock ensemble known as “4 Jacks and a Jill”

Their song, “Master Jack” was a charted hit back in the day.

“It’s a strange, strange world we live in, Master Jack.”

So what if we run out of toilet paper and paper towels.

Just don’t say “Hey!”

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