Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …

Another Valentine’s Day has come and gone.

With the Fosters there were no flowers, no candies, no special dinner out, nothing like that.

Does that mean the “spark” has gone out of our relationship?

Nope.

It’s more like a compost pile on a frosty morning.

On the surface perhaps bland and boring but underneath is something that produces heat and energy.

You know, compost heaps can burst into flames.

Did we find our “soulmates?

Was it just timing and luck?

You be the judge.

In ancient Greece, Aristotle thought we were once “whole beings” with 4 arms, 4 legs and 2 faces, so radiant that Zeus split us in two.

Since then each half has roamed the Earth searching for its missing other.

It’s a myth that gives the modern “soulmate” its poetic pedigree and the promise that somewhere, someone will finally make us feel complete.

Jason Carroll, Professor of Marriage and Family Strategy at BYU is sympathetic to the longing for “the one”.

He tells students to leave the idea of a “soulmate” without giving up their desire for “The One”.

That leads me to the “soulmate trap” where we believe love should never be hard.

Folks who believe relationships were “meant to be” are far more likely to doubt their commitment following conflict.

Marriage experts believe when love is treated as “fate”, those people often become less-willing to do the “unshowy” work that actually keeps love alive.

These specialists say the small things in relationships are what’s important.

Everyday attentive acts are actually more powerful than grand, romantic gestures; no fairytales, no glass slippers.

For years I bought my wife candy and flowers and special cards for special days like anniversaries, birthdays and such.

Most of the time my frugal wife would mumble “How much did that cost?: regardless of the sentiment.

Just this past December though, I finally struck a nerve when I got her a card with two youngsters in overalls walking hand-in-hand through a field.

He says, “You’re amazing”.

She replies, “I know”.

On the inside it said, “I’m so glad we agree on the important stuff”.

Neav even saved that card and has plans to frame it.

The funny thing is the moment I saw the card, I thought, “That’s us!”

But it took me over 56 years to find a card with the perfect sentiments for our relationship.

I retired from full-time work in 2014.

But every Friday morning, I leave early, text my wife that I’m on my way and she walks down the driveway to hop in my truck as I stop in the road before were go to breakfast.

Plus, it’s usually to the same restaurant every Friday.

\I get a kick out of watching Neav walk down the driveway because it often takes me back to the morning she picked my up at my first radio job.

As I walked out to meet her, Oliver’s “Good Morning Starshine” was playing on the station’s monitors and she was wearing this polka dot outfit.

The only real difference these days is that I’m driving and our hair is greyer.

Is it romantic?

In the “classic” sense, probably not.

But for two people who sorta stumbled together after high school and married the day after Christmas in 1969, it’s sort of a snapshot of how it’s been.

Not too flashy.

But steady.

Calm.

Predictable?

Sorta.

But not boring.

No.

Far from that!

Years ago, I think one of our kids asked their Mom if she would remarry if I died before her.

She said, “No! It would take me too long to housebreak anyone else.”

Some might say that we’ve gotten into a rut relationship-wise.

I’m reminded of the saying that the only REAL difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

But in this crazy world, it’s comforting to be comfortable.

Like my new pair of “muckluck” lippers.

Like her new hooded, fleece-lined night wrap.

In 1964, Nat King Cole released his song, “L-O-V-E”.

It was short and to the point.

“L” is for the way you look at me.

“O” is for the only one I see.

“V” is very, very extraordinary.

“E” is even more than anyone that you adore can.

Yeah.

It’s crazy.