Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …

He’s been battling dirt, grease and grime since 1958 but Mr. Clean says he’s retiring, “saying goodbye to the world of cleaning to pursue new hobbies”.

He’s had a career with zero stains on his record.

The Procter and Gamble representative says there will be “no changes to our packaging or our brand name but I’ve earned a little more time off. More details to come”.

Those last 4 words point to March 4th.

P&G says there’ll be an announcement on the first Wednesday of March.

The story claims Mr. Clean was discovered as a baby by a farmer and his wife on the front steps of their farm house.

It was said he has a “remarkably shiny head”.

He was raised with a strong work ethic and was quoted as saying, “If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right”.

Later he wrote the “Encleanapedia” to share his knowledge.

The actual Mr. Clean model was a United States Navy sailor from Pensacola, Florida.

Some people thought Mr. Clean looked like a genie.

He did appear in a shirt and tie for some commercials in the mid 60’s.

The first Mr. Clean commercial aired in 1958 with House Peter’s Jr. as “Mr. Clean”.

He passed away in 2006 from pneumonia at the age of 92.

Mr. Clean always smiled except for a brief time when he became the frowning “Mean Mr. Clean” because he hated dirt.

He got his name “Veritably” as a result of the 1962 “Give Mr. Clean a First Name” promotion.

No doubt P&G is looking for a rebrand of Mr. Clean to try to achieve the success several others have had.

In 2018, IHOP (International House of Pancakes)_ announced it was becoming IHOb (International House of burgers) and many were incensed.

But after a month, IHOb returned to IHOP because it was all a promotion to draw attention to their steakburgers.

Was it successful?

They received 1.2M tweets in the first 10 days of the campaign, steakburger sales quadrupled and they earned $113M in media value with the story’s coverage in the news.

Other clever marketing ploys have involved Old Spice, which was always your old Dad’s aftershave.

It became a “cool” personal grooming option with even the women wanting to use the body wash.

The original Old Spice had the nautical, “sailor” connection and no woman or “cool guy” today would want to smell like that, right?

How about when Dunkin’ Donuts” just became “Dunkins”/?

A sneaky way to allow the company to shift some focus to coffee, quick bits and conveience.

Remember in 2020, during the Super Bowl, when Mr. Peanut was killed only later to be revived?

When “fried” became a bad word for food, the “Colonel” suddenly dropped “Kentucky FRIED Chicken” and became “KFC” without changing the basic menu.

Similarly, “Planet Fitness” put the focus on the “Judgement Free Zone” to separate the gym from the the “”Rocky Balboa” images of working out .

I just hope the folks at Procter and Gamble have a better touch with their “base” than the execs did with the recent attempted re-brand of Cracker Barrel restaurants.

But, it did get the company a lot of press while things got worked out.

I hope we don’t see him turn into “Ms Clean”.

Geez! He already has an earring.

Maybe he’ll become “Mr. Green” and clean up the environment.

(Hey! Captain Kangaroo had Mr.Green Jeans to help keep Bunny Rabbit and Grandfather Clock in line.)

Perhaps it will be “Coach Clean” and he’ll work on the college transfer window and NIL challenges.

H could become “President Clean” and really tackle “The Swamp”.

That would require a mammoth, heavy duty “Magic Eraser” to get the job done.

Years ago, we sang the song;.

“Mr. Clean gets rid of dirt and grime and grease in just a minute.

Mr. Clean will clean your whole house and everything that’s in it.

Floors, doors, walls, halls, white sidewall tires and old golf balls

Sinks, stoves, bathtubs he’ll do.

He’ll even clean the laundry, too.”

We’ll find out what the future holds for Mr. Clean on March 4th.

In Julius Caesar’s time, we had the “Ides of March”.

“Et tu, Brute?”.

Perhaps we’ll experience “Et tu, Mr. Clean”.