Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …

Our mailbox isn’t as busy now as it used to be.

It didn’t use to cost as much to mail things to one another as it does today.

I’m old enough to remember when first-class postage in the United States was 3 cents.

It went to 4 cents in 1959.

Was that not a 33% increase?

Today, first class postage is 78 cents.

A similar 33% hike in rates today would be almost 26 cents.

Most of our “paper mail” today is bills and advertisements.

But, e-mail anymore is just as bad.

Our drug prescriptions show up in our roadside mail box.

(By the way, those white, plastic envelopes those pills come in are darn near impossible to open without a good pair of scissors!)

The standard letter opener just can’t handle the task.

I think I have two in my desk at work and one is sharp enough that I can use it as a knife to slice an apple.

I was going to say I don’t need a letter opener for my e-mail box but there is that occasionally forgetful password that comes into play today.

But for that curbside collection unit, it’s just a short stroll from the house and down the driveway (Or the “laneway” as my “landed Canadian-immigrant” sister says)..

Our current mailbox is a replica of an Ohio State football helmet.

Until this past season, I’m sure it irked a lot of people here in Indiana.

But as the Beach Boys sang in 1963, “You gotta be true to your school”.

My research indicates there are over 142 million curbside mailboxes in the United Styates.

They first showed up on American streets in the 1850’s but the curbside units mounted on a post really grew with Rural Free Delivery (RFD) in the 1890’s.

The iconic, “tunnel” or rounded top shape units were created in 1915 by Roy Joroleman, a postal employee.

Credit Ben Franklin, our first Postmaster General with establishing the foundations for the residential mail collection and delivery system in America.

The United States Postal Service says the opening on that street-side mail box should be 41-45 inches high and be 6-8 inches off the edge of the road.

One of the challenges for homeowners is replacing the mailbox post because the soil that close to the street is usually strewn with rocks and pieces of cement.

Did you ever go to the mailbox and find a stinging winged critter inside?

A scented dryer sheer should deter the bees and wasps and your mail carrier will probably like to pleasant aroma.

More often that not, we’ll check and sort the mail as we walk back into the house.

On occasion, we can’t wait to get indoors and find a letter opener so a knife or pen or even a finger will do the job to allow access into the envelope’s contents.

That’s part of the charm of the mailbox and the goodies it holds.

Holiday cards used to be a big deal when I was a kid growing up.

My Mom would tape the ones we received around the big mirror in our living room and the reflective surface would be greatly diminished by Christmas day.

Literally doizens.

For me, it’s still a treat to get a letter, note or card in the mail.

Writing and mailing is a dying practice.

Too bad.

Postcards always intrigued me.

I always wondered how many people read the message before it was received by the addressee.

I’ve always wanted to send a postcard to someone but write on it, “What are you doing reading this? It’s not addressed to you.”

Too snarky?

Years ago, we had a cleaning person at work who I suspected was going through my mail left on the desk.

I typed out a letter on company letterhead and right in the middle it it I typed, “Hey, janitor-dide! This isn’t addressed to you”.

I never found my papers moved again.

I must have gotten the inspiration from Fats Waller’s “I’m Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter”.

My postal thoughts also include Elvis and “Return to Sender” and the Box Tops big hit from 1972,
“The Letter”.

By the way, if you get a wet piece of mail, don’t blame it on “postage dew”.