Miscellaneous Mind-Wanderings…

Appealing

You know how sometimes you need to re-boot your computer to get all the “stuff” out of the way so it runs more efficiently?

I’m going to do a “mind-reboot”this week to get tiny bits of info flushed from my brain.

Few of them are worthy of an entire colunm but I don’t feel I should just discard them.

Pardon my “Etch-a-Sketch” moment while I turn my screen upside down and shake it a bit.

The recent controversy over the Christmas season song, “Baby, It’s Cold Ouside” really caught  me off-guard.

It’s not really a “Christmas” song but with the weather references, it’s normally heard that time of year.

Certain parties hinted the song is no longer socially acceptable because of the “wolf and mouse” lyrics.

Frank Loesser wrote the song in 1944 for he and his wife to perform at parties.

Frank obviously had a keen sense of humor because he would introduce himself as “the evil of two Loessers” (Clever!) as he sang the “wolf” part of the tune.

They would sing it to let their party guests know it was time to leave.

Esther Williams and Ricardo Monaban performed the song in the film “Neptune’s Daughter” and it won an Academy award in 1949.

Listen, the lyrics are clearly from another time.

But  I particularly enjoy the “back and forth” stylings of the song.

My favorite verson was by Steve Lawrence and Edie Gorme.

I’ve never really thought the song professed a “how to” on proper male/female relationships.

Never once in the more than 50 years I’ve known my wife did I say, “No, you gotta stay because I heard it in that song”.

I’m actually amazed that someone complained and others thought it was wise to remove the song from holiday playlists.

Who are these people who have nothing better to do that consider the social implications of a winter song?

We used to call them “nit-pickers” when I was younger.

I think some of the “PC-ers” need to take a deep breath and move on to more serious things.

Me?

I’m headed the other direction.

By the way, if you had a fruit spread that you applied to an ingress/egress frame, would that be a “door jam(b)?”

Why do we say it was a “near-miss” when two planes nearly collide?

Shouldn’t it be a “near-hit?”

Has anyone actually seen “black ice”?

Isn’t it just clear, frozen precipitation on basically dark surfaces?

Speaking of frozen precipitation, if it snows and the wind blows, it might pile up higher in some places.

Do you catch my drift?

If Cindy Crawford has that dark thing on her face, why is it called a “beauty mark” but on me, it’s a mole?

Does anybody really observe the “Entrance/Exit” signs over the doors at WalMart?

Hey guys, since we’ve evolved into a 24 hour society, should we reconsider the phrase “5 o’clock shadow?”

Folks in some parts of the world would probably be amazed to know that based on what I see on tv or hear on the radio, one of the most-pressing health issues in America is “erectile dysfunction”.

I’m waiting to see who first offers “instant water” and how many will buy it when the directions say “Pour contents into a bowl and add water.”

When dentists go to school, do they refer to their instructors as “drill seargants”?

Do weather forecasters only have “fair weather friends”?

If you audibly detected a large group of cows nearby, is that a “heard herd”?

Do bread-makers only wear “loafers” when they’re on the job?

When I was in the Air Force, we used to tell “newbies” to go to supply building and get 30 feet of flight line.

Next time you’re shopping, ask the clerk for a “hen way”.

When he says, what’s a hen way,  you say, “Oh, about 5 pounds”.

In September, when the sun crosses the equator, we refer to it as “fall” or the”autumnal equinox” which is where “autumn” comes from.

Following that line of reasoning, when the sun crosses the equator again in March, we refer to it as “spring” or the “vernal equinox”.

Thereforce, shouldn’t we also refer to that season as “Vern”?

When “Pete” and “Repeat” were in a boat, did anyone ever get “Repeat” out of the water?

Is it true that if you give a bald person a comb, he’ll never part with it?

When a seagull flies in circles, is that a “tern turn”?

Did you know a pig can actually get sunburned?

Whatever happened to all those hot-air corn poppers that were the rage “back in the day”?

In theory, shouldn’t we be able to empty our pencil sharpeners and make a new pencil?

Not wishing to encourage vandalism, but aren’t some of the paintings on rail cars pretty amazing?

Almost makes waiting at the crossing entertaining.

Were you suprised that it only took this long before someone was arrested for falling asleep at the wheel of a “driverless” car?

Actually, “passed out” is more acurate.

Does a mama bird actually teach her little ones to fly or do they just “wing it?”

Since dogs have pants, shouldn’t cats at least have knickers?

Whew!

My “computer” is running much faster now,

Thanks for your patience.

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