Things to Avoid…

Johnny-on-the-Spot

As we wind down the memorable year of 2021, it’s almost automatic for us to think “Wash hands, wear a mask and stay 6 feet apart”.

Political types will tell you that socialism is the wave of the future but I’m convinced it’s more an “anti-social” movement.

Lots of folks stay in their homes, don’t even go to work any more, computers have become school classrooms so the opportunity to interact with other humans has significantly decreased.

When’s the last time you experienced a firm handshake or a warm hug?

Weird, huh?

This is all happened in less than a year.

We weren’t always the “chummiest” before the pandemic and when folks wonder when we’ll get back to normal, I fear we might already be there.

Minimal numbers of fans are allowed to attend sporting events and yet the athletes do chest bumps, jump on one another and breath on each other but on the sidelines, they have to wear masks.

You go to a restaurant and must wear a mask to enter but once you get seated, you can remove your mask.

I think menus and glasses of water must frighten the flu virus away.

So, until the coronavirus vaccine gets to every nook and cranny of America, we’re to keep our distance.

We need to avoid each other.

We also need to avoid other things.

Anything on TV priced for $19.99 that comes with a “But, wait! There’s more!” offer.

“Pay the extra shipping and handling and we’ll double the offer.”

I fear most of that stuff has been packed by Oriental laborers with bad coughs and if thermometers in those sweat shops were like geiger counters, they’d be ticking like a cheap watch.

(Probably for sale on late night television for $19.99).

Stay away from the on-line COVID-19 vaccine home kits.

Sure, it normally takes years for drug-makers to get new vaccines approved so why shouldn’t we expect a home version to be available just as quick?

You watch.

They’ll be coming.

Probably for $19.99.

I’m not so sure you should patronize any “Used Mask Stores” either.

Especially the ones featuring disinfected paper ones.

Money-conscious consumers might be tempted to patronize them but I think the “Ten Foot Pole” concept should be used on this one.

Be wary of politicians who say they are working in your best interests when it’s hours before a scheduled holiday break and especially on the heels of a recent election.

They know most of us will forget if they do something that’s NOT in our best interests and the next vote is at least 2 years away.

Besides, it’s always the OTHER person’s office-holder that’s the problem, not MINE.

Be skeptical when pro athletes get behind a cause.

Remember, these are people that, by in large, have no idea what it’s like to actually “work” for a living.

When’s the last time someone handed you a towel while squirting a water bottle in you mouth?

There might have been a time when a sports celebrity could look me in the eye and say, “We’re all in this together” and I might believe it but not today when most get paid more money than some towns operate on in a year.

Understand this.

I don’t fault these guys for making that much money.

The problem is when they start to thing they’re actually WORTH it.

They should realize just how lucky they are.

And, another thing.

Stay away from hair restoration clinics run by bald men.

Need I say more?

Beware mail solicitations that want you to answer an issues survey because there’s always going to be a “suggested minimum donation” to the cause when you’re finished.

You send in a check and the minute that falls out of the envelope, the rest of that survey visits the shredder.

Keep your distance from the guy sitting in the restaurant wearing a catcher’s mask.

He either is a very witty person or a very dumb one.

Either way, he’s not worth the risk.

(Unless you can buy that mask for $19.99).

Stay away from auto repair shops that look like hospital emergency rooms.

You can’t do a good job on a bad vehicle without a little grease and grime getting spilled.

Be careful patronizing eateries with “home-style cooking”.

You know how it is in your home.

The “5 second rule” for dropped utensils or food.

The former Cool Whip container filled with leftovers in the back of the refrigerator with a pulse.

The dish towel that Mom wiped your kid sister’s nose with.

Listen, it’s alright to be “careful” but when anything is carried to the extreme, there can be other consequences.

I recently saw a survey of Americans with 51% of them complaining because their hands were so dry and sore from all the washing.

Obviously, there’s a hand cream shortage in America, as bad as the toilet paper and sanitary wipes crisis.

Besides, America, quit crying and whining!

Remember Ben Franklin wanted out national emblem to be the turkey instead of the bald eagle.

Maybe it should be an Oscar Meyer wiener since we seem to be turning into a bunch of “wienies”.

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