Politically Correct Stupid…

Johnny-on-the-Spot

Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life when they realize they’re stupid?

Or is ignorance truly bliss?

Have I created a social firestorm by even using the word “stupid”?

Perhaps it’s not “politically correct”.

“Stupid” is defined as “not intelligent; slow in understanding; not sensible; obtuse.”

Back in the day, instead of stupid, we might say someone was an airhead, numbskull, blockhead, bubblehead, dork, butthead, fathead, jughead, knucklehead, meathead, dipstick, pinhead, cretin or loser.

How about “ignoramus?”

What about “dunderhead?”

That might have something to do with the Dutch word for “thunder” (donder).

I once knew a TV meteorologist whose station hired a blonde beauty to assist with the weather and I coined the nickname “Cumulo-bimbus” for her.

Someone is probably thinking that’s sexist.

My weather friend thought that was a hoot.

So, what should we say instead of stupid?

Light’s on. Nobody’s home.

The loose-leaf binder needs snapped.

One egg short for an omelet.

His snow plow blade doesn’t touch the road.

Transmission locked in PARK.

There’s no paper in the printer tray.

D cell mind in a AAA world.

His calendar only has 11 months.

Now, if you’re chuckling, consider the words of American author Jim Butcher.

He said, “EVIL isn’t the real threat to the world. STUPID is just as destructive as EVIL, maybe more so, and it’s a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against STUPID. That might actually make a difference.”

I’ll design the bumper stickers.

My wife can print t-shirts.

Let’s press on.

Tattoo on the earlobe reads, “Inflate to 32 PSI.”

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

His mental compressor can’t blow up a balloon.

Lots of cackling; not many eggs.

Brain drain needs Liquid Plumber.

His interstate cloverleaf winds up at a dead end.

Three horses shy of a round up.

The elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.

You still with me?

American singer and songwriter Frank Zappa of “Mothers of Invention” fame says, “There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe and it has a longer shelf life.”

Want more?

Two extra jokers in his deck of cards.

All wax. No wick.

His mental letter reads, “Postage due”.

A couple of shingles short of a full roof.

The date on his milk carton expired.

That ice tray is empty.

Bright as Alaska in December.

If he was a bird, he’d walk north for the winter.

Should we even be having this discussion?

New Wave American writer Harlan Ellison believes “You are not entitled to your opinion, you’re entitled to your INFORMED opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”

FACEBOOK anyone?

Let’s continue.

Played WAY too much football without a helmet.

Shoots more decoys than mallards when hunting.

The pump needs primed.

More than a couple of lights burned out on his Christmas tree.

Stayed up all night to study for his urine test.

Two clowns short of a circus.

He’s have a wobbly wheel if he was a shopping cart.

Laurence J. Peter, who is known for the “Peter” principle, where, “in a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence” had this profound thought on “stupid”.

He said, “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or be imbeciles who really mean it.”

That’s scary.

Perhaps that’s what lead Napoleon Bonaparte to state, “In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.”

Still there’s more.

A village is missing an idiot.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

Dumb as a box of rocks.

Bottom feeder.

Half a bubble off plumb.

As slow as molasses in the winter.

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

So why am I on this topic?

Seems to be a lot of stupid in the world today and a big shortage of common sense.

It turns out to not be very common.

Allow me to send you off with these final thoughts on stupid.

American communicator and public affairs strategist Steve Schmidt stated, “A mark of stupidity is a belief that one party is totally virtuous and correct on the issues while the other is evil and always wrong”.

Ouch!

Or, as Forrest Gump said, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

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