So Much Hot Air; So Few Balloons…

Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster

So the President told the military to shoot that Chinese balloon down while it was over the upper Great Plains but some thought there might be harm to something or someone on ground?

Therefore this mysterious floating device was taken out of the sky off the East Coast in the Atlantic Ocean.

I saw reports that the balloon also passed over Alaska where the population density is just 1.28 humans per square mile.

When the story broke, Montana was mentioned where the number of people per square mile is just over 7.

An elected official in one of those Great Plains states said the greatest risk on the ground would be to coyotes, woodchucks or antelopes.

So we dropped it in the Atlantic Ocean.

I can’t wait for the first news photo of a fish washing ashore on the East Coatdwith a piece of balloon wrapped around it.

I was reminded of the old joke where a tornado struck a portion of rural Kentucky and caused several hundred dollars in improvements.

So the plot thickens.

Or sickens, perhaps.

My tolerance for idiots is waning as of late.

I used to have some immunity but there’s obviously some new strains out there.

I haven’t gotten much done today. I went grocery shopping with my wife and we were in the produce section trying to open one of those plastic bags for veggies.

Thought I read recently that the company which makes “Head and Shoulders” shampoo is coming out with a new body wash called, “Knees and Toes”.

On the way home, we saw bumper sticker, It read, “BAN shredded cheese. Make America grate again !”

Political overtones, right?

Groucho Marx said politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Does it bother you that computers are now asking we humans to prove we aren’t robots?

Speaking of computers, wouldn’t you like a user name and password prompt to say, “Close enough.”

By the way, it appears we now have most people washing their hands correctly. Now, can we focus on turn signals and how to proceed at a 4-way stop?

By the way, my wife says I only have two faults.

I don’t listen and something else…

But she listens to me.

I told here I want to be cremated.

She made me an appointment for Thursday.

We’ve been talking about going on a diet.

Until then, we’re putting the bathroom scales in the corner and that’s where that little liar is going to stay until it apologizes.

I told my bride I’m thinking about 2 diets since I haven’t been getting enough to eat on just one.

We’re not vegetarians but we eat animals that are.

But we are aging.

There was a time we could do flips and cartwheels but now we lose our balance putting on underwear.

Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say, “That can’t be accurate!”

Actually, I just want to be able to lose enough weight so when I clip my toenails, I can breathe at the same time.

While some of my friends exercise every day, I’ll watch a TV show I don’t like because the remote control fell on the floor.

My wife wishes she had a pair of skinny genes.

But she did get a week’s worth of cardio in after walking into a spider web in the garage.

Neav and I have had dogs while our youngest daughter has cats.

The biggest difference is dogs accept you as the boss but cats want to see your resume.

By the way, I’ve done some research.

Remember Carl Douglas and his big hit from 1974?

There’s no way that everybody was king fu fighting.

But in case they were, remember, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bandages and adhesive tape.

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