What Are the Odds…

 

download lotto2I have a theory I’ve yet to check out but the next time we get one of those mega-jackpots for a lottery, I have to try this.

Everyone wants to play when there are multi-millions up for grab and when more enter, the odds are higher against you or I winning.

So, I’ve  always thought I should play the lottery the first week AFTER a huge jackpot winner to enhance my chances of winning.

Truth be told, the odds of winning one of those big weekly jackpots, regardless of the prize, is roughly one in 300 million.

Statistics show I’d have a better chance of being killed by a vending machine (1 in 112 million ).

(By the way, the typical American spends about $27 annually in vending machines.)

You have a better chance of catching the plague (1 in 46 million) than winning the lottery.

Watch out while vacationing on one of those Pacific Islands.

You stand a 1 in 50.7 million chance of being killed by a falling coconut.

Seems a 5 pounder falling from a heighth of 100 feet packs a literal ton of force.

(Excedrin moment, perhaps?)

Speaking of politics, your chances of becoming President of these United States figures out to be 1 in 32.6 million.

Wait a minute before you buy your own copy of “Hail to the Chief”.

If you go hiking in the hills, you have a 1 in 32,000,000 chance of being attacked and killed by a mountain lion.

Experts suggest if you encounter one of those big kitties in the wild, you should try to make eye contact and make a lot of noise.

(Does high-pitched screaming count?)

Did I hear you say you were headed to Florida?

Statistics show you have a one in 11.5 million chance of being attacked by a shark.

Planning on sainthood?

The odds of that happening are one in 9.2 million of becoming a saint…unless you play pro football in New Orleans.

If you live in a trailer park, odds are 5 million to 50 that you’ll be killed by a twister but only 1 in 5 million if you don’t live in a trailer.

You have a 1 in 4.4 million chance of being killed by something designed for right-handers.

The power saw ranks high as a hazard for lefties.

Be careful on the African safari because there’s a 1 in 2,500,000 chance that you’ll be killed by a hippopotamus.

Outrun it?

Probably not,

Those creatures, sometimes tipping the scales at 3 tons can hit 14 miles an hour when they need to sprint.

Becoming an astronaut?

Odds against that happening are 1.9 million to one.

John Glenn, Neil Armstrong and Gus Grissom were rare birds, indeed.

If you’re a stargazer, the odds are one in 1.6 million that you’ll ever be conked on the noggin’ by an asteroid or a meteor.

While singing “Pennies From Heaven”, we warbled “So when you hear it thunder, don’t run under a tree.”

Your odds of being struck by a bolt from the blue are about one in a million that lightning can find you.

Guys, take note.

The odds of you dating a supermodel are about i in 880.000.

Your odds are slightly  better if you’re tall since most of those cover girls are statuesque.

Now, this entire feature was based on odds of winning the lottery.

Did you know that your chance of becoming a millionaire by non-lottery means are pretty reasonable?

With compounding interest rates and such, just 30-1 if you invest wisely and save aggressively.

Hey duffers!

Odds are 12,000 to 1 for the average hacker to get a hole-in-one.

So, if you play 18 holes a week, you should card an ace once every 13 years.

For the typical amateur bowler, our odds of rolling a perfect 300 game are 1 in 11,500 but if you’re on the PBA tour, it’s more like one in 460.

If you cheer for a MLB team, you have a one in 835 chance to catch a foul ball but to catch 2 in a row, it’s just one chance in 1.1 billion.

Catch that foul ball without spilling your beer?

Astronomical!

The odds makers also say you have just one chance in 650,00 to be dealt a royal flush on the opening hand of a game of poker.

(Joker’s wild?)

Now, when I stroll through the yard, I always like to look for a 4-leaf clover.

Just one in 10,000 clovers are 4-leafers.

However, in 2014 an Australian woman found 21 one of them in her front yard.

( I suspect she had grass stains on her knees.)

Watch what you eat because there’s a 1 in 6 chance you’ll get food poisoning.

Odds are once every 3 years, you’ll crack open a double-yoked egg but there was this British gentleman in 2016 who had entire carton of double-yoked eggs.

Sunny side up, indeed!

Odds are better that you’ll have your taxes audited by the IRS (1 in 123) but with budget cuts and such, that might get a little wider in the future.

On a serious note, once you turn 65,  three out of every 4 women and a little more than half of the men will need some sort of long-term health care and 25 year old folks today have a 6 to 10% chance of making it to 100.

So, what are the odds?

If you flip a coin it’s 50-50.

Rock, paper, scissors anyone?

 

 

 

 

 

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