Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …
We were driving on a country road that ran next to an interstate highway.
There had been an accident involving two semi tractor-trailer rigs and traffic was backed up from here to yesterday while the lanes headed the other direction were also slowed by a fewer number of “rubber-neckers”.
Today, drivers delayed on their travels like this would resort to their cellphones to pass the time..
My first glance was always to the fuel gauge followed by the engine temperature.
If the first one wass “high” and the second was “low”, I’d heave a deep sigh of relief.
Otherwise, I was attempting to figure out how far it was to the next fuel stop.
But other than that, passing time in traffic bottlenecks are usually done with games on the cellphone.
But there was a time when those handy little phones didn’t exist.
So how did we take our minds off the delay while still keeping our eyes on the road?
If you are travelling with youngsters, you can play the “alphabet game”.
You have someone start with the letter “A” and they have to find that letter on a billboard, sign, license plate, truck trailer or wherever letters might be displayed.
One nice thing about travelling, “X’s” are easier to find when there’s likely to be an “EXIT” coming up somewhere.
You can also play “decipher the license plate”.
Sometimes, vanity plates can be a challenge to figure out the special message.
Or, just figure out a name or phrase for the letters on any license plate.
I used to have a plate that had “C-F-H” on it and it became “Chief Foster’s Horse”.
You can also do the alphabet game with trucks and the companies they drive for headed the other direction from your slow down.
It’s depressing when you start just after a Zimmerman Truck Lines trailer passes by.
Playing the car version of the same game can be a time-waster, too.
Traffic delays “:back-in-the-day” often brought out the old road maps or travel almanacs.
Looking for obscure or odd-named cities and towns could be fun.
Even the old “I Spy” game is good for traffic jams or slow downs.
Guessing where the folks in other cars might be travelling to or even from is a time-passer.
We played a version of that game years ago when we were trying to occupy our daughters when the money ran out before the month did.
We’d go to the shopping mall and watch people and try to guess what the adults did for a living.
That was after we convinced them that just because there were checks in the checkbook didn’t mean we actually had any money.
When grandson Keaton was much younger, we had a long car trip through northeast Indiana.
\We would each take a side of the road and in a repetitive monotone delivery describe what we saw,
It was a lot of “Corn” or “Soybeans” that we droned on about.
Then, when we passed another car, we’d say, “Howdy”.
A pick-up truck was “Howdy! Howdy”.
A semi tractor-trailer rig prompted a “Howdy! Howdy!” Howdy!” response.
It was amazing how fast a boring two-hour drive would slip by.
You can also collect college or pro teams scanning for bumper stickers or window signs.
Since our backyard abuts a rest area exit ramp, when traffic backs up, I’ve often thought of getting my grill and doing burgers and hot dogs to sell to slow-moving motorists.
Even bottles of water might be an easy sell.
However, restroom facilities can be limited since there are a finite number of empty Mountain Dew 2 liter bottles that can be “refilled”.
Remember, my backyard abuts a truck stop rest area.
I’m just saying…
As you’re slowly moving, you can count traffic cones or those orange construction barrels.
I’ve often thought that was the line of work I should have pursued…selling those devices to road crews.
I can’t help but think of Canadian Tom Cochrane’s 1991 hit, “Life is a Highway”.
He wrote that song as a personal “pep talk” following a challenging trip to Mozambique where he witnessed poverty and conflict..
“Life is a highway,
I wanna ride it all night long..
If you’re goin’ my way
Well, I wanna drive it all night long.”
If I get stopped, it’s the “alphabet game”.
