People Are Strange…

sneeze

Anyone an old rocker like me who grew up in the decadent 60’s listening to the music?

I was one of those who bought an album by The Doors because it had the LONG version of “Light My Fire”.

“The Doors”  debut album was released in early 1967 and contained the 7:06 version of the big hit.

That’s what I wanted.

When The Doors made their one and only appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show, they performed “Light My Fire” as well as “People Are Strange”.

“People are Strange” was written by Jim Morrison and Robbie Krieger and it “reflects the group’s fascination with the theatrical music of English cabaret”.

By the way, if you saw the movie, “Forrest Gump”, it was the music playing while the Tom Hanks character improved his ping-pong game.

I like the song but not due to of my fascination with the theatrical music of English cabaret.

I like it because it states a fact.

People are strange.

Which leads me to the Vaev Tissue company.

This L-A based start-up company has come up with a product that is nothing to sneeze at.

Vaev Tissue is betting you’ll want to boost your immune system naturally by plunking down $80 to buy their beautifully-packaged, human sneeze-loaded tissue.

You’ll be able to use their “dirty” tissue to infect yourself at a “convenient” time, instead of coming down ill at sometime which isn’t convenient for you.

The company feels using their tissue containing a human sneeze is safer than taking pills or getting shots, assuming you are now immune to said virus.

Since there are growing numbers of folks today not vaccinating their kiddos (see recent measles outbreak in Washington state),  it appears parts of the country might find this product a great idea.

But 80 bucks for a snotty tissue?

Egads!

I just realized I’ve thrown away a small fortune in waste baskets around the country.

Always the entrepreneur, I recently wiped my schnoz at a Kiwanis club meeting and offered the tissue for $5.

No takers.

Now, some health experts say getting yourself sick is dangerous and there is no guarantee of after-immunity to any virus from self-exposure.

But I thought about this product while sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room recently while a gal with puffy, watery eyes and a nose glowing red like Rudolph’s hacked her left lung up mere feet from me.

There’s also something very “today” with the idea that you can “schedule” a cold when it’s “most-convenient” for you.

I think there’s a market out there for this.

But, that’s why I seriously wonder about the validity of the Vaev Tissue.

In a TIME magazine interview, the company’s owner offered nothing to substantiate the claims of the product.

(Cue P.T. Barnum)

I think some enterprising dudes came up with this idea over beers when the basketball game they went to watch at the local sports bar got out of hand.

Or the pitcher of beer got warm.

Or both.

However, I might be more dubious of Vaev Tissue had they sprung upon us with a huge Facebook presence.

You know how it is when something shows up there!

Talk about something going “virile” on the Internet!!

But you can visit their website to see 4 athletic and/or talented people with tissues up their nose or wiping their nostrils.

The company story claims in 2017, a Dane with a cold and a dream had grown tired of needles and pills to fight his condition.

From that, the “world’s boldest tissue company” was born.

There’s a very elegant-looking white box trimmed in gold that we are lead to believe is what the magic Vaev Tissue is delivered in.

It’s all so very hip and chic and when you press on the “shop” button, the site says “sold out”.

It also shows $79.99 a pop.

My scam antenna are twitching.

But…

What were folks muttering in 1796 when Edward Jenner suggested scratching the skin with a cowpox lesion as a way to combat deadly smallpox?

Turned out to be a pretty good idea.

So now I wonder…

Have I been tossing away a million dollars worth of income all these years when I tap our “Ped Egg” professional callous-scraper into the waste basket?

Maybe I should be packaging that white “skin dust” in a white and gold box with instructions to  just add water and stir to make my amazing “scar repair” system.

Sell it on-line for $79.99.

Oh, wait!

It’s all sold out.

And what about those toe nail clippings that ricochet off the wall and force me to crawl on my hands and knees to locate them before my barefoot wife steps on one and give me “The Look”?

There’s probably some way to recycle those, too.

Human toothpicks perhaps?

Nah!

Too gross.

But not any grosser than wiping your behind and sending the results to a company as part of a home colon cancer screening test.

Jeez!

I’ve flushed away more than a few of those scientific experiments.

But not for $79.99 either.

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