Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster
My trusty dictionary defines annoyance as “the feeling or state of being annoyed; irritation; a thing that annoys someone; a nuisance; vexation, a bother”.
The noun also can be a thing or person that annoys.
Did you ever order some food and what you received was either incorrect or ill-prepared?
Wouldn’t that be an annoyance?
Recently, a man in Atlanta was upset because the sandwich he received had too much mayonnaise on it.
Much like cheese, I’m not sure I can ever have too much mayo on anything.
So I was shocked to hear this customer complained by pulling his gun and shooting the two young clerks.
He killed one.
Over excessive mayonnaise.
No. this is not a gun control story but more of what people view as annoyances and their reaction to said vexation.
Shooting seems extreme to me.
Most times, an annoyance causes me to grit my teeth, grumble, or take a deep breath.
If it’s more than that reaction, it must have crossed the threshold of being an annoyance.
Recently, my wife and I were doing a backyard project, in the heat and humidity and the gnats were annoying.
You sway at them but I don’t think this harms or deters them.
Given sufficient time, they’ll get in your eyes, your nose and mouth.
Mosquitos and flies only come around when your hands are filthy or holding something important.
Talk about bugging me!
You know what else is annoying?
ESP turn signals.
Those other drivers who never indicate the direction they’re turning, so you’re left to guess.
It’s like the “4-way stop mambo”.
It appears not many drivers are familiar with the rules of the road and so they just sort of inch forward, slowly, slowly, slowly and then shoot forward when they feel they’ve crept enough.
“Waste paper mountain” in the restroom annoys me.
Soggy hand towels by the dozens are piled liked wannabe Jenga sticks, eventually falling over on the floor.
It’s amazing but I’ve found that my well-placed right foot in the trash can is able to compress this paper waste well below the rim, this limiting floor litter.
Facebook food annoys me.
Until those folks can come it with a “scratch and sniff” option or an “aroma” button, I don’t care to look at your lastmeal.
I’m annoyed when I purchase something that comes in parts and there’s a screw missing or two extra nuts.
I truly believe the factory folks are doing this to mess with me, knowing that I’ll be annoyed if I believe I’ve improperly built the item.
“Construction zone morons” annoy me as well.
They’re the ones that stay in the lane that all the flashing warning signs advise of closing in 2 miles, 1 mile, a half mile, 1,000 feet, merge right.
If everyone just heeded the signage, we’d flow through the work zone and not have to panic stop because “construction zone moron” has finally run out of room to drive.
When I do these articles, I’m annoyed by my “fat finger disease”.
I’m truly adept at striking two keys at once with my less-than-on-target typing skills.
One of these days, I’ll simply print an unedited “Johnny-on-the-Spot” so you can see some of the crazy things I spell and write.
Cell phones ringing during a meeting are another annoyance to me.
Shut it off or throw it out the window.
I just don’t care to hear your cure ring tone.
I’m also annoyed by “Express Checkout Lane” violators.
Ten items or less seems pretty clear to me.
It’s no a shopping cart count but the material in one shopping cart.
Math skills are either terribly lacking or people simply choose to be rude or ignorant.
With office coffee makers, is the pot truly empty if litmus paper can detect moisture in the bottom of the carafe?
That’s why I do my own coffee at work.
The community pot was either dirty or empty and the grounds from the previous month’s perkings were still in the basket.
Or the coffee can was always empty.
I find “brain fog” or as we call them, “brain farts” an increasing annoyance these days.
I like to think of my brain as a wonderful computer but, unfortunately, I can’t re-boot it like my desktop unit.
I know I have a lot of old mental E-mails slowing down the processor but until I can ride myself of them, I’ll be walking into the kitchen, only to stop ands ask, “Why am I here?”
Voice mail is annoying.
Since nobody answers their phone these days, we get these endless voice mail options that you have to “pound sign” or “star” to proceed.
Also annoying for me are socks with sandals, “see-food”, Zoom meetings, motorists 10 miles below the speed limit in the passing lane, people walking on the wrong side of the road or avoiding sidewalks and people wearing 2 gallons of perfume or cologne.
All these things are annoyances for me.
But I can just scrape off that extra mayo if you give me too much.